Well the title sounded good… and I liked the idea of stillness but I had no idea of how to reach that or feel that in my body.
You see, I am a solo parent, I work full time and I also run my own small business so I am rather busy and the concept of stillness seemed quite foreign and far away.
I have lived my life always in a bit of a rush, with a to-do list that never ends and taking time out for me, is a rare luxury. After all I am a busy woman.
So recently when I had the opportunity to sign up for a 6-week course with the Esoteric Yoga Stillness Program for Women, I thought it would be good for me.
The class was only once a week, so I thought that at least I should be able to fit that in. But even that was hard! I did have a few moments where I struggled in deciding what was more important – other things, or committing to “my time, and my chance to develop a relationship with my inner stillness”…
It’s interesting how we as women so often put ourselves at the bottom of the list instead of looking after ourselves first and foremost.
To be honest, I didn’t really know what to expect, so I didn’t expect anything. The results though have been quite astonishing really.
What I have noticed is…
At work one day there were some major issues going on – one big argument, where one of the staff members stormed out of the office, then another burst into tears and another had a melt down. We are all in a small open office, so as you can imagine everyone does get affected, but I was able to just sit there calmly, and feel the stillness in my body, without reacting to what others were getting caught up in. That night I thought about what had taken place and I was so proud of myself for not adding to the drama and not getting involved. Instead I was able to stay steady, like a ship on a course, not getting lost in the storm.
"I was able to just sit there calmly, feel the stillness in my body, without reacting to what others were getting caught up in."
On another occasion, when trying to get my daughter ready for school, and she was having a drama as she didn’t know what she wanted in her lunch box… Instead of me getting frustrated and panicking because we were already late for school, I was able to stay really calm and still, and not go into my old way of pushing and rushing to get everything done. I was amazed at myself for my new-found stillness in that moment!
I exercise almost daily, and recently I woke up quite tired as I had worked a night shift the previous night. I had my regular exercise class and I almost had to drag myself there. Now in the past, I would have toughened myself up and just got on with the class, but this day I had a totally different experience. I decided to stay with how I was feeling, and really exercise gently, and to feel how tired I was, instead of my old way of pushing through.
By the end of the class I felt amazing, and I had this sense that I had never really honoured my body or how it felt as much as I had done that day.
To me, it felt that with the support of Esoteric Yoga, I was able to connect to that stillness within me, and not to override what my body was so clearly expressing to me.
So how do I feel at the end of the program?
I still feel like I can get everything done that needs to be done, but with a different quality, with more awareness and presence… with more of me and less of the rush.
More stillness and less anxiousness!
I will definitely be signing up for the next program, because if I managed to get to this in 6 weeks – to connect to the stillness within me, and this is only the beginning… then I am all for it!
Complementary Therapies Practitioner